The first time - it is the most difficult, or How to lose virginity?
The first intimacy is remembered forever by both men and women. Much has been written about how to prepare for the first contact with a partner, how to behave. But the "eternal" question is asked over and over again.
We hope that readers - both very young and sophisticated - will be interested in reading an excerpt from the book "Sex for Dummies" by the American sex therapist and popular TV and radio host Ruth Westheimer.
Why all this rush? Many view the first time as a barrier between childhood and adulthood, which must be overcome as soon as possible. They think that virginity is a sign of weakness as if the whole world knows about their "misfortune" and laughs at them in the back. Moreover, on TV and in the movies, they always show male superheroes who first of all drag a woman to bed ... Often young people of both sexes cannot really undress, they are afraid that someone will see them, they are either too fussing or terribly constrained.
The main goal is to get rid of it as soon as possible. It is sad. You will always remember: where, when and to whom did you give your innocence, if, however, you didn’t “pluck” at the same time to the point of disgrace.
These memories can be cold - you practically did not know him (her), or, on the contrary, warm - that person was dear to you and had sincere feelings for you. I in no way insist that parting with virginity is necessary only in marriage. I just warn you: “Don't miss this moment! Take good care of the first time! " The beginning is not impressive. Let me tell you: your first time from a purely sexual point of view will most likely not be very good. For the first time, the vast majority of women do not experience an orgasm.
And for many men, the first time ends too quickly - they, poor things, are not able to say "it was - it was not." Nevertheless, there are several reasons why the first time should be made special: your first sexual experience can significantly affect your future attitude towards sex; Another reason not to give your innocence to a stranger or unfamiliar person is the high probability of psychological inconvenience, in other words, shame and embarrassment, which are unlikely to be avoided. Some women feel pain when their hymen is torn.
Some men fail to immediately figure out where to insert their penis. Wouldn't it be better to be confident in the caring attitude of a person who will try not to hurt your feelings? And, of course, we must remember about sexually transmitted diseases, such as AIDS. People who lead a promiscuous sex life, which include prostitutes and "gimmicks", are much more likely to be carriers of the infection.
First time for women
Although I sincerely hope that all of you, dear women, will have good first intercourse, there are two stumbling blocks to remember: the hymen and the possibility of vaginismus. In many virgins, the hymen is already partially broken. Some women tear it up when playing sports (especially cycling and horse riding) or tampons. If your hymen is already torn, it is unlikely that you will be in pain or bleed. If it is still intact, you may feel a little pain and a little blood, but in the heat of the moment, the short-term pain is likely to be quickly forgotten. If blood during intercourse is for any reason a special concern or anxiety for you, do not forget to just spread a towel.
You've probably heard of vaginismus. This is an involuntary compression of the vaginal muscles with excessive nervous tension in a woman. And you will almost certainly be nervous the first time. I am not talking about this as something inevitable. Just remember: it happens sometimes and is by no means scary. Some women write to me in letters that everything is so small ... and that sex is impossible for them.
Do not worry. The vagina has the ability to stretch - the child can get out through it! - so something, but there will be a place for the penis. What should be done for vaginismus? Engage in foreplay with your partner (the longer the better). With strong sexual arousal, vaginismus will not even appear on the horizon. And if your man gave you little caresses, go back and start all over again.
One thing should not be done for sure - try to enter into intercourse at any cost. The fact that you can't have intercourse today does not mean that it will not work tomorrow. Another very useful tip for the first time: put a pillow under your butt. By changing the angle of penetration of the penis into the vagina, you will greatly facilitate the whole process.
First time for men
The first sexual intercourse is fraught with many pitfalls for men. Nerves can play a bad joke with your ability to erect, and who, tell me, is not nervous in such a situation? One never manages to achieve an erection at all. The other has an erection, but his nerves take their toll when he tries to get his penis into a woman, and here's a "humpty dumpty" for you.
I sincerely hope that you heeded my advice and that there is a woman next to you who loves you and protects your feelings. It is worth resting for a minute or two, to calm your nerves. And then it's her turn to help you with an erection - massage your penis - and try again. Most likely, you will face the problem of premature ejaculation. Some of the men are so excited by the thought of an upcoming event that they have an orgasm before they enter their vagina.
Of course, the erection immediately subsides, and intercourse becomes impossible. Are you ashamed? And how! Inconvenient? You ask! End of the world? Not at all! Even with a tendency to premature ejaculation, a man can try to keep his penis in an excited state at least for the introduction. 90 percent of men's difficulties are mental, not physical. It is difficult to eliminate the physical causes of impotence, but the psychological ones, as a rule, can. So don't give up!